Sunday, October 19, 2008

Transparency

I don't know if it's a bad thing to wear your heart on your sleeve. I suppose it's a bad thing if your heart is one that causes others grief and frustration because you're always on an emotional roller coaster. That could be dangerous, I suppose.

Fortunately, I'm not too much like that. But I do like to wear my heart on my sleeve. Maybe it would be more difficult if I didn't have such mature friends, but I'm very free to be myself. "I love you. Be around." I don't like to make big deals out of nothing, but I don't like to let something pass without recognition, either. People are a priority for me. If someone is a good friend, thoughtful and intelligent, compassionate, affectionate, intriguing, compelling, admirable, or even just enjoyable, they should be praised and acknowledged. (Hm. That sounds familiar. "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Am I plagiarizing Paul?)

But at the same time, people are very individual-oriented. I guess it comes with being human. Everything is about how it affects me and my life. I hate to admit, but even among my friends there's a degree of that "out of sight, out of mind" poison. My mom is full of wisdom: "Always remind people that you're in their life. Because they'll forget." And they will. So I remind them. "You are important to me. Thank you for everything that you are."

Sometimes the combination of those two desires of mine--to be myself and to love people--can be misunderstood, I think. Some people may think I'm too interested and be freaked out. Perhaps people are too used to a hyper sense of reservation. Maybe people will misread my intentions and think I mean more than I do. But maybe that's better than letting them think I don't care at all.

"You want people to know that you think they're special." It's not easy, but it's always worth the effort. And the risk.

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