Paradox

(I regret that this is very jumbled... I could easily turn it into a book if I really developed all of these thoughts, but for the moment it is simply an explosion of thoughts.)

Sometimes the most obscure things bring everything else into perfect clarity.

I picked up Real Sex by Lauren Winner this weekend (since I don't have enough half-finished books to read). Along with the general commentary about chastity and sexual purity, one chapter specifically responded to the individualism that is so pervasive in our culture. Though Winner addressed it specifically as regards our attitudes towards sexuality, I began to understand a conflict in my own heart and mind.

It's the paradox of individual liberty and God-ordained community and I see it everywhere.

It's a paradox in the church. A Christian's spiritual life is not complete if he attends church services every week or even perhaps if he is heavily involved with the church body. It is a personal and individual relationship between him and God. However, neither is Christian's spiritual life complete if he is attentive in personal devotions and spiritual growth if he neglects the community around him and the body of believers. Both are entirely necessary, 100% and 100%.

It's a paradox in economics. God created man to have dominion over himself and his property. We are created to be stewards and it is wrong and unjust for the government to interfere with our natural rights and liberties regarding property. However, as stewards we must also look to satisfy the needs of others. We cannot neglect the poor and destitute in our neighborhoods and around the world merely because we have responsibility and rights to seek our own.

It's a paradox in family life. I am an individual with my own ambitions, my own friends, my own pursuits and interests. But I have four sisters and two parents who are committed and connected to me and I to them. I cannot make decisions about what I'll do on a given school break without considering how it might affect them.

And this paradox extends throughout every aspect of life, I think.

You could also say that the church has responded to an increasing sense of individualism in the United States by turning to more liberal economics. Our rationale goes something like, "if Christians aren't giving or helping the poor of their own choice, let the government intervene." Translation: if people aren't choosing to live in community with one another, let the government force us to live in community with one another.

And therein lies the irony-- the selflessness that creates the truly beloved community is sacrificed for artificial and forced community; indeed, true selflessness only comes when we have freedom to choose for ourselves.

I believe the solution or explanation for this paradox comes once again from God's crazy idea to give human beings the right, responsibility, and opportunity to CHOOSE for themselves. We choose whether or not to give to the poor. We CHOOSE whether or not to be wise in how we use our money. We CHOOSE our form of government. We CHOOSE whether to participate in the local church. We CHOOSE whether we study scripture and develop our individual relationships with Christ. CHOICE. It's all about CHOICE--the free will to choose to do what is best.

So in the end, we portion our lives, we decide how something affects us and those around us, we weigh the many factors that contribute to our decisions and evaluate which is most important. What affects me? What affects those around me? God created us individually. We are individuals. God also created us to live in community.

Bastiat said that liberty is faith in God and His works. I think one reason God gave us free will is for our own soul-making, as Dr. David Smith would say. If I, living in a free-market economy, choose to give my money to the poor, that not only benefits them as a socialist economy would (claim to) do, but it benefits me because I become more like Christ in my choice to give. Regarding my family, my parents could certainly demand that I return to Homewood, IL every time we have a school break; instead they allow me to be somewhat autonomous, knowing that should I choose to return home, the the time spent with them even more significant because I made the decision myself.

So this paradox--being created as individuals yet being called to live in community--is resolved by God's big picture purpose. With every opportunity to make an autonomous decision--in political economy, in the church, in one's family--we also have the opportunity to grow more like Christ by the decision we make. To have a decision forced upon us is short-sighted. It sees merely the end and neglects to consider the means. It regards the destination as more important than the journey. In so doing, it also takes for granted God's perfect judgment in how He created us and how He created us to live--individuals woven together in community.

Not Solved Yet

All over school, they're telling us to be happy at least for the inauguration of the first black president of the United States.

I'm sorry. I just can't be that simple-minded.

The Obama presidency means different things to different people. What his economic and social policies will be and do remains to be seen, but we can predict closely enough that he will try to usher in a more socialist and broad-reaching government. There's nothing happy in that. But even policy aside...

Everyone keeps trying to tell us that it's such a wonderful thing that the first black president is being inaugurated. It's a "huge milestone" as they say. I just can't see that, though. I don't think there are "huge milestones" in real life, in the big picture of things. There isn't something magical that happens to the nation now that our president comes from a minority ethnicity. Racism isn't going to disappear tomorrow as Obama takes the oath. Lower class schools that are packed to the brim with minority students, most of whom will drop out before they turn 16, will not suddenly improve.

If people really thought about it, they'd realize that the magic equalization of all people won't come from the skin color of the man who works in the Oval Office. If people actually learn about it, they'd also realize that the magic equalization of all people certainly won't come from his socialist economic policies either. But that's what they're expecting.

Now, I will agree that a black president is a good indicator of how far we've come... but it's not some precise mile-marker that says "You've come this far and you have this much left to go!!" Nothing is that simple.

I think the only thing that puts all of us on an equal footing in any sense of the word is, in fact, sin. Not wealth, not rights, not education, not jobs. We are not raised to equal footing, but lowered to it. Only sin separates us all from God. Only sin corrupts our nature and our minds so we are incapable of knowing or learning everything; indeed, the pursuit of what we can never fully attain remains man's ultimate purpose. Only sin throws a wrench into God's perfect system of reason and liberty so that economics, politics, intellectual pursuit, and human relationships will never be (on this earth) what they were designed to be. And sin doesn't discriminate.

Finally, let me emphasize that my biggest concern is that people (white people, especially) will think that they've done something grand and glorious by merely electing a man from a minority to be our president. The road to racial reconciliation doesn't end with the election of one man or with the supposed socio-economic equalization of different races or by having minorities represent a certain percentage of the wealthiest one percent. Damn, no. Reconciliation is an on-going battle in our hearts, minds, neighborhoods, families, classrooms, and schools. No statistic or inauguration will ever tell us that this battle is over because it will last until doomsday.

So when President Barack Obama solemly swears to faithfully execute the office of the President of the United States, and to the best of his ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States...

...don't stop fighting.

Not Anti-Oxidants and High School Chemistry

Free Agent.

That's me, that's what I am. I operate independently (to a degree). And it surprises me sometimes. Sometimes I don't even realize it...or maybe I deny it. And as often as not, it frustrates me because it's sure as hell not easy. Yet--

Certain friends speak wisdom into our lives and we don't even realize it until some time later. I've processed and analyzed: "a bold woman." ...Hm. Wow. Strong words. I didn't ever imagine... And at the moment, I only thought, well, bold in your perspective doesn't really reflect or understand the insecurity I hide.

But "bold" doesn't mean you have no insecurity, just as courage isn't the absence of fear. Perhaps it's the strength to overcome that earns the title.

I could write a whole commentary on how this manifests itself in my own life and social culture and the lives of others I see around me... yeah, that's a lot of stuff to say. But at least, I realize that the thing it enables me to do more than anything is to be myself. I don't think everyone sees it like that, whether in me or in others. But it's like that poem I wrote years back. "...take my hand and run."

"He is himself. Love it."