Sunday, January 18, 2009

Not Anti-Oxidants and High School Chemistry

Free Agent.

That's me, that's what I am. I operate independently (to a degree). And it surprises me sometimes. Sometimes I don't even realize it...or maybe I deny it. And as often as not, it frustrates me because it's sure as hell not easy. Yet--

Certain friends speak wisdom into our lives and we don't even realize it until some time later. I've processed and analyzed: "a bold woman." ...Hm. Wow. Strong words. I didn't ever imagine... And at the moment, I only thought, well, bold in your perspective doesn't really reflect or understand the insecurity I hide.

But "bold" doesn't mean you have no insecurity, just as courage isn't the absence of fear. Perhaps it's the strength to overcome that earns the title.

I could write a whole commentary on how this manifests itself in my own life and social culture and the lives of others I see around me... yeah, that's a lot of stuff to say. But at least, I realize that the thing it enables me to do more than anything is to be myself. I don't think everyone sees it like that, whether in me or in others. But it's like that poem I wrote years back. "...take my hand and run."

"He is himself. Love it."

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